It’s Christmas Eve and two days until my big adventure. I am sitting in the UK with my second family as I write, having eaten loads of chocolate (already) and watched loads of Christmas TV. It’s the first time I’ve stopped in weeks and I feel so.tired. I’m currently the youngest person in this house, and was asleep in front of the telly at 9pm last night….
Between finishing up work, seeing my friends and prepping for my trip, I haven’t really had a moment to stop and take it all in. So this is where I launch the Travel Blog I keep talking about, and put all my #feelings in one place.
On not having a job
I’ve been working since i was 14. While at high school I worked on weekends, first at a restaurant bar (under age – boom) and then a gift shop. As soon as I finished school, I worked full time to save to come to London. That was nearly 10 years ago, to the day (!!!!). Since then, I’ve been a nanny, PA, marketing assistant, and mostly recently, senior marketing executive.
Working and having my own money gave me independence and freedom. It allowed me to be the master of my own destiny. I still feel that applies, given I have an established career and believe I could always get a job if I needed to. I’m also lucky to have a supportive partner. But I feel ever so slightly more vulnerable now.
On leaving my best mate
When I announced I was going travelling, most people assumed I was going with my partner of four years. Naturally. In the past few months, I’ve learned just how much we measure ourselves on the opinions and reactions of others. Most people think it’s great and are supportive. Some hide their surprise quickly. Others make insensitive jokes that leave me wondering.
But all I really care about is what HE says: “You’re going to have such an amazing time, and I’ll always be on the other end of the phone.” That I’ve found someone who lets me ‘do me’ makes me feel really bloody lucky.
On going it alone
Yesterday I didn’t have much appetite at breakfast time, which if you know me, is NOT normal. And then all of a sudden I was blubbering through my beans on toast about being nervous about travelling alone. Loads of people have done it and had a blast. And I will too. But having never done it before, it’s the unknown that I’m afraid of.
My biggest ‘unknown’ is safety. I get nervous walking through busy London sometimes, so the thought of walking around with a massive backpack on in South America – I may as well have ‘TARGET’ written on my forehead – makes me apprehensive.
I also get a ‘double homesickness’ feeling when I’m away from from the UK and New Zealand. I end up missing two lots of people in two places, and it makes me feel very alone.
These feeling aside, I know the truth. There will be LOADS of people in the same boat as me (sometimes literally!), and I will meet lots of new friends.
Well, that’s all for now and I will be sure to write soon. We are headed out together on Boxing Day, starting with Rio > Ilha Grande > Paraty > Rio. Then AJS will head back to London and I will fly to Iguazú Falls.
Let the fun begin!
Micaela Rose Writes 